I NEED A BREAK!

Between Putin and his antics, McCain’s lobbying for a war and Rand Paul is trying to attack everyone, the intense search for MH670 is getting stupid, at least in the news media and listening to the talking heads that know less than I do about the situation -  I need a break. I turned to Facebook!

I often monitor my Facebook page to see what is going on in the immediate world of people I know, people who think they know me, and people I am not so sure about and just plain people who need to share too much data about themselves, I ran across a posting that caught my eye and got my attention. I was recently telling someone that I just met about how I try to behave in this new “dating world” I find myself in. My dad told me many years ago, whatever you do, “always be a gentleman.”

I am sure that there were times that the thought did not come through but when I am aware of my  situation I try to follow his sage advice.

There was a posting that there are 45 words of wisdom that should have been handed down. While I may not have heard them directly from my father, I may have gotten some of these from my mother. I won’t restate all 45 of these words of wisdom, but some need to be revisited and shared.

“Go for women you perceive to be out of your league, you will surprise yourself.” I totally agree. But I did get a form of that advise form Sammy Amalfi when I was 12 years old when I worked in the produce section of a local supermarket. He said, “Kid, never hang around people who are dumber than you, you will never learn anything.” Sammy was so right. I have applied that principle in my life with men and women. I have never feared smart women, I tried to engage them.

“Every hat should serve a purpose.”  My hats serve several purposes though I hate wearing hats. Bed head! Grab the hat on the way to gym – no combing required. Helmet - in combat or on a motorcycle. Support your team –Red Sox, The Boom, Crescenta Valley High, etc. I have a large collection – about 25 caps, but no “hats.” My dad wore a fedora and every year or two he bought a new one. The care he took of his hats was amazing. It was in the closet in a large hat box. That was the 50s when men wore hats and his purpose was to look good when looking good was required. I used to love to go the shop where they cleaned and blocked his hats.

Taking a woman to the movies on a first date can create conversation at dinner afterwards but if it was an NC-17 rated film, you many never see her again. That is a no-no!

 Looking badass in a well tailored suit is another axiom that should be followed. My grandfather, whom I never met, was always dressed well, I am told. I have a photo of him in very well tailored suit. He was a tailor in the US after serving in the Russian Army as a captain. I would love to have seen photos if him in his uniform. Nothing is sharper than a military uniform that is tailored well. My grandfather and my dad looked good in their suits.


Looking a person in the eye when you talk to them is a must unless they are sitting beside you. That is the only time that you don’t – but never talk and not try to look them in the eye – that is rude and cowardly.

“Buy a plunger before you need a plunger.” Nuff sed!

Learn to tie a tie. Clip-ons are not sexy. There are some basic knots you have to learn. My first was a full Windsor. They were great with Mr. Bs collars (from the 1950s – remember?) but with pointed collars, a half Windsor or four in hand is better and neater.  Bill Clinton once sported a full Windsor that could hide a family of four! Check the guys on TV. Many of them don’t know how to tie a proper knot, they don’t care or are just lazy. Brian William of NBC does know how to tie a proper knot as does our president. Local anchors look like local yokels with their ties. Even Bill Maher needs some education that area.

Handshakes must be firm. Always.  And always stand to give someone a handshake.

Ask questions, people like to talk about themselves. I knew someone that did not like to be asked questions and then complained that no one asked any questions. That person did not ask questions either and gave the impression that she didn’t care. You learn by asking and the when asked the learn.

Being a man means you can take care of yourself, but you can, when needed, take care of others. My dad rose to the occasion when he thought that I need some care. I was in my 50s and taking care of him and when I needed him most, he was there, he took care of me – my dad was a “man.”

You can’t see what is front of you when you walk looking at your shoes. Look ahead, that is what is coming next.

There is no work that is demeaning, all work deserves respect – just ask those that have no job. Everyone deserves your respect. Give and ye shall receive – simple.

Going back to Sammy Amalfi’s advise, if you find yourself as the smartest person in the room, you are in the wrong room.  Create opportunities to learn from others. Expand your interests. Spending time with like-minded people is great but nothing new comes from it.

I did not comment on all 45 of life’s rules as should be told by our fathers and mothers. There even more than 45 but these, that were listed, hit home. Most of us live by them whether we have the list in front of us or not. We were brought up that way and our behavior in life is governed by those principles.  There are those that do not realize them or honor those ideals.  I am talking about US, our culture, our country, our way of life.

The last principle is the best advise you can get, man or woman: Whatever you do in life be the best at it.

That is my take – you decide.


Please note: The photo above is of my grandfather.