I WONDER WHAT . . .

Did you ever wonder what had happened to people from your past.  Some you hope they had good lives, prosperous and healthy lives. Of course, everyone has some bad stuff happen but the bad stuff for those people you hope would have been not too bad.


I got a message through Facebook some months ago that kind of floored me – someone out of my past asked if I was the guy she was trying to contact ( right out of the Lily Tomlin act – is this the person to whom I am speaking?) I was and I was also delighted to get that communication.

There were guys I grew up with that I would love to meet them, even today, in dark alley with a bat in my hand. But every time I meet someone like that it turns out that I hope they had a rubber ball for stick ball and the bat was for play. How long can you hold a grudge even if the last memory of them was them kicking the crap out of you? Getting even is always the goal. When given the opportunity, getting even is not what it is cracked up to be.

For example, I had a business partner that stole from me. He was also planning to leave me high and dry with a lot of debt. He didn’t but he did steal and that left the venture in jeopardy that we partnered in. I was pissed and hurt. Fast forward about 15 years I had occasion to track him down. He moved from a nice town back east to a lesser town.  He was divorced and remarried. When I got to him I had a thriving business had a very good reputation in my industry. Still do! I was travelling

I got a message through Facebook some months ago that kind of floored me – someone out of my past asked if I was the guy she was trying to contact ( right out of the Lily Tomlin act – is this the person to whom I am speaking?) I was and I was also delighted to get that communication.

Someone once said that living well is the best revenge. I didn’t have to say a word, I got even.

Over the years I often wondered what happened to ______________ (insert a name). Girls I met in Maine or in college. Guys that I met in school and were in the same club and later the same fraternity.  A few guys that I did basic training with or did my combat training with in Missouri. Not all but a few, I wonder where they are and how they are. And for the most part, if they are still on this planet I hope that life is treating them well (there are some exceptions, but it pays not to dwell on the negative).

Recently I had an opportunity to visit someone out my past – way past, 59 years past.  She found me on Facebook. I got a communication from her and over the next month or two we e-mailed, texted and talked on the phone. Trying to get caught up on six decades is not easy, it is nearly impossible. She invited me to come to her city on the eastern part of Canada. While, for many reasons it did not seem like a good idea at the time, the idea grew on me. I needed a change of scenery, a positive experience (see my article on the “Not (so very) Merry Month of May.)

What could it hurt? We can catch up on each other’s life. Compare notes, eat some good food, drink some good wine – for five days. I called her then sent my flight information and it was nearly midnight she was at the airport to pick me up. I knew immediately who she was as I have a recent photo that she sent. Sixty years can change a person, her as well as me.  The smile and the hair was almost the same as it was in 1956.

That beautiful young teenager is now a beautiful older woman with sixty years of life lived since the day at the beach.

For the next five days we talked and we talked and we talked as we toured her beautiful city that she knew so well. I told her about my wins and losses in life. My children, grandchildren, daughters in law and the sons in law. Where I live and how I live, were subjects that we explored thoroughly and she did the same. I learned about her section of the city and the beautiful ethnicity of the neighborhood that is reminiscent of eastern cities. I almost felt at home.

I learned about her children and their accomplishments. Her son that decided that he wanted to save children’s lives and became a successful pediatric oncologist. He  even practiced in Southern California before going to Atlanta. The pride in her eyes was so evident  and the pride in her voice was electric. The sadness came through as she described the one di ease that he battled in children he could not win – he died of cancer in the prime of his life.

I learned about her daughter and the granddaughter that brought major smiles to her face. There are so many personal details that I cannot or would not share here. Suffice to say, that six decades comes with so many emotional events, so many highs and so many lows and we are the result of that process of living with that reflects in our eyes. It makes us who we are today not who we were then.

What happened to ________________ and where is _______________ now?  Great questions that when you get the answers you realize one thing. You were born to live your life, not other’s lives.

 That is my take - you decide!