POOR TEVYA

If he knew how right he was one hundred and fifty years ago he would have sang the song “Tradition” even louder. He was so right, tradition is like the fiddler on the roof, very precarious. It saddens me that traditions are not valued as they once were. The retort that “times are a changing” is not enough to justify the things we hold dear and look forward to.

In my family I tried to create a minchag. That is a family tradition. I provide the Talit for all my grandchildren for their Bat or Bar Mitzvah. The talit have to come from Israel. There was one shop that I got the first six  and now I need two more so I will have to obtain them long distance from my friend at Ora Gifts in Jerusalem. I will maintain that minchag. And a friend.

Another minchag that I tried to create was “Grandpa’s Bag of  Gold” for Chanukah. With their gelt the kids get to read some  poetry that I attempt to write about the family and the holiday.  I hope that these minchag (don’t know the plural) will live on in my family’s memory long after I am gone.  And as I Iook back I remember my father, my uncles, my aunts and my mother creating a minchag of preparing the Pesach meal at my Grandmother’s house. (Actually, it was my aunt’s house, but when they were cooking, no doubt was my Grandmother’s house).

Traditions add richness and color to the time. Handing down the Torah scroll at the Bar/Bat Mitzvah service is one of my favorite minchags (plural). It says so much about family and the traditions that come with that symbolic deed.

Traditions are repeated from generation to generation (L’dor V’dor) in spite of the fact some are difficult and time consuming, but they are worth it. It is maintaining the chain and richness of the event or time.

I recall my late wife spending hours creating rhymes for the people to be honored as they light the candles on the Bar/Bat Mitzvah cake. The light of the candles is symbolic of creating a future of bright expectations and wishes from family and friends. Connecting the generations with the light of a candle. I complained that some of the candle lighters at my kid’s parties I did not know well, I was informed they knew us and they respected our family. I am sure the kids did not know some of their candle lighters but I can’t imagine not having some distant relative who was very influential to either me or my wife in our way of life not being honored. To a thirteen year old that may not be important, and it is the B’nai Mitzvot’s night. But it is also the night for family and friends to celebrate. I was told that was too much trouble. The hire someone to write your rhymes. Don’t write rhymes just make statements as to why these people are important enough to be honored. This is a minchag that needs to be maintained.  


At my Bar Mitzvah,  my friend  was empowered to squeeze the light of the candle out because we had too many people to light the candles. The blisters on her two fingers from the flame have long since healed. That was 61 years ago but she talks about that “honor” today. What a delightful memory!

Times have changed, no more bands (I just went to a Bat Mitzvah with an 11 piece orchestra with four dancers – a little much for a Bat Mitzvah) just disc jockeys that know how to keep a party moving. Love the music and the energy. This also a turning point as some thirteen year old boys ask thirteen year old girls to dance – for the first time in their lives.

Traditions have crossed pollinated. The raising the Bar/Bat Mitzvah on chairs is actually a wedding ritual stemming from Orthodox Jewish weddings. Minchags  can be borrowed.

Minchags create memories. Memories that make you smile. Memories that warm the moment. So, why are we so quick to extinguish a minchag? Because not everyone at the event will understand and / or appreciate the beauty of it? So, what!

Theme parties are the thing. It was just a week ago that I was reminiscing with someone about my son’s Bar Mitzvah. She was hired to create a theme emblematic of his interests and also his friend’s interests. A good time was had by all, the kids and the adults.

Tradition is important  to me. It was important to my late wife, my parents and in general, to my peers.

Some traditions are embedded in the liturgy. Blessing over the wine. Blessing over the bread.  As we end an era, our Bat/Bar Mitzvah is now deemed an adult, we start another by saying amen and L’Chiam!

The Bar Mitzvah Boys at Normie’s Bar Mitzvah circa 1954: LtoR:  Solly Freedman, Eddie Lupo, Davey Freedman, Alan (the Bovitz) Myers, Howie Gelbsman, Ally Cohen

That is my take – you decide

TRUMP - THE ADVOCATE FOR HATE

I expect that we will all be numb by November. The rhetoric never stops, the lies get bigger and the threats get more intense even when there are no threats.

Every time I turn on CNN there is Trump trumpeting the same old crap we have been hearing from the first day. This speech from New Hampshire, the same speech from Iowa, the repeat from Washington – same crap different day and often the same day but from different locales and the crap is always on. And on , and on.

Trump hasn’t said anything new in months. No substance just bullet points that stir the masses, the masses that like to hate. What is even worse, the anchors repeat the crap. They repeat it in such a way that they tell you it is BREAKING NEWS, when all it is, is breaking wind. Journalism is nowhere to be found. Fact checking does not exist and that is the news they report. They are word stooges instead of wordsmiths.

Trump was ready to pounce on the report of the ten sailors that were detained for several hours after penetrating Iranian waters. Then they were released without harm and with their property intact. That was terrible according to the CNN anchors. Did you see the videos of our servicemen and women when they were arrested?  How dare the Iranians have them put their hand behind their heads and kneel while being arrested? THAT IS WHAT WE DO AND THAT IS WHAT YOU DO WHEN YOU ARREST SOMEBODY!

OK, I didn’t like it. But not a shot was fired and according to Berman, the CNN anchor, this was “provocative.” How? Hey, you never left the studio, so how do you know? No wonder Michaela blew him off. There is no credibility there, or on CNN for that matter.

Donna Bash can’t put three words together without fumpferring. Borger is the essence of mean and Wolf is almost senile and “I will leave it there,” as he says too often instead of following up. I will leave it there, too.

According to Trump the military is crumbling. We have 2.2 million people with either active duty or ready reserves. Wow, how the cookie crumbles. We are second only in numbers to China.  China has how many more people than the US but has only 600,000 more troops than we do? Their population is in the billions and yet the world says that the U.S. has the best fighting force in history.

Trump just released a nasty commercial full of misconceptions, lies and distortions. That is par for Trump but the problem is that some people will believe the lies and will act on them.  Just like 1939 in Germany . Trump wants to deport people he suspects, as did the Nazis. He wants Muslims to wear symbols on their clothes. I believe we have some leftover yellow stars we can sell the idiot. He wants to establish camps. Trumpinow is underway. No golf course.

He speaks without authority or actual knowledge. He was on the border with Mexico and he saw millions pouring in. He was there for an hour and he used the men’s room. He saw thousands cheering in New Jersey after the twin towers came down. Trump doesn’t even know where New Jersey is.  He is ubiquitous, he is everywhere when something sinister can be witnessed. If you don’t believe that – ask him.

Here is my problem (actually a host of them) the networks, CNN, Fox, MSNBC all trumpet his messages. They’re the same, nothing changes and when I turn to these channels  I hear the same unchallenged crap over and over again. They are characterized as “Breaking  News.”  As I said earlier, more like braking wind. They really do have an odor. Not silent, but just as deadly.

Then you got the little boys in the room. Rubio and Cruz. If a lack of intelligence was the criteria they both have a chance but none of their arguments are as stupid as the Trumpian rhetoric. Trump is not stupid, he is reckless and dangerous and a liar, a good liar. That would be the limit what I can say that is good about Trump.

If you want to now the fallout from this crap go see the movie “Trumbo.” See what they did to make America great again in the 50’s. They wanted to stifle creativity. They  didn’t! The blacklisted writers found ways to write and so some great work. They made the senators and their staffs look foolish. The blacklisted writers gave the American people great entertainment.  Have we learned our lesson yet?

That is my take – you decide

 

GOT TO SAY SOMETHING ABOUT DATING SITES

I have been officially single now for more than three years. In that time I have frequented so many happy hours that I have been saddened by the experiences I have had. So, no more Happy Hours. I now have lost some weight as a result. No more Happy Hour menus for me. No sliders and no more mixed drinks.  I must say that I am giving up the best show in town watching others get the same experiences I have had. There is very slick and not so slick.  There is shy guy who won’t look up and then there is the bon vivant who lets you know immediately who he is by dropping his car keys on the bar with a glang. (Look he is driving a Yugo, (”It is a classic, man”).

I will not disparage the ladies because that comes soon enough. You see, the bar scene sucks. It sucks big time. Then there are the Meet-Ups. Some are OK, but many have their cliques and newcomers are somewhat kept at arm’s length.  The guys come in and hug and kiss the women they know from previous weeks and still have not connected but they act as if they are. Posturing is everything and many have it down pat.

Once you have decided that these scenes are not for you, although a friendly drink in a familiar place is OK and good for you once in a while, you gotta break the habit or it will break you. So, what do you do?

YOU GO ONLINE. There are so many single sites you might think that the entire world population is single or is pretending to be single. There are sites where you can be married – Ashley Madison, for example. That did not work out for many who got exposed. There are dating sites that require you to be of a certain faith. Sites such as Christian Singles. There are sites that require or suggest that cow manure can be an aphrodisiac. You have seen the Farmers Only web site?

Then there are the Asian sites, Philippino sites the Russian sites, Hispanic sites, the Jewish sites, the almost Jewish sites and the what do you want to do this weekend sites. It is almost like, as a former wife said, shooting fish in a barrel.

Speaking of fish, there is a site called Plenty of Fish. And there are plenty of fish. You put in your search criteria and then you see who is in the “barrel.” It is a Fulton Fish Market of women.  I was excited when I first logged on. There are some beautiful women on there. They all want to have that walk on the beach, a quiet dinner, a glass of wine, etc. But there are so many problems with the  content, the women, I can’t understand why.

For example: Why not tell you exact age? You will have to at some point. Once it is determined that you lied about your age you are seen as a liar. Not a good start for a relationship. Yes, you may be more attractive to him if you were five years younger. You are now sitting across a table and having a great conversation. That conversation is creating a mutual interest and trust until the lie is exposed.  What else is she lying about? By the way, this not just women. But I am looking at this from my perspective so I am talking about women.

She says she has an athletic body. That is good news but sumo wrestling is an athletic endeavor. The descriptions have to be better defined. Like how tall they are. Tall women make themselves shorter and shorter women and men make themselves taller. OK, I get that. Now one shows up with a tape measure. It least for not measuring height.

Then there is the “profile.” It is a one page or so marketing tool to attract a response. Here is where the fun is. Then there is the photos.  In looking at the photos, (I suggest having professional photos taken). Selfies taken in the bathroom are not cool. Selfies are not cool. Some women post 15 to 20 photos because they want you to see their dogs, their cats, the kids, their grandchildren, their motorcycle and on and on.

1. I am not going to date your dog or your cat no matter how cute they are.
2. I am not interested in your kids or grandchildren no matter how cute they are and mine are always cuter.
3. If you cavalier enough to ride a motorcycle, well, that may get my attention.
4. Make sure your photos are from this century. Anything older than 15 years is last century.
5. You went to a Halloween Party but how do we know that is a costume?
6. You travel but you can’t resist posting photos of the beach, the town. I have been to more places than you. I don’t need to see your pictures. If I am looking at them, I am not looking at you.

OK, that is my “How To” blog for now. I will be logging on to see if you were listening.

Just one more thing, if a guy writes to you, reply. It is just polite. You can say “no thanks.” But a reply is the considerate thing to do. I was told that if a lady does not reply in 48 hours, move on, there are plenty of fish.

That is my take – you decide.