A DIME IS MORE THAN TEN CENTS

Last week I dreamt about my late wife as I often do. She has been gone for more than two decades but it still seems like it was yesterday when she instructed me to make sure I bring her mirror. I was told that when I do have dreams of her she is visiting me. As I outlined in an earlier piece I am skeptical but somewhat open to the idea that people who were close to you and are now gone are not  really “gone” but are here in some form of spirit or energy or mental manifestation.

I do get some comfort in the dreams. I relive some of our best moments over the nearly 36 years we were important to each other. There were other moments that are not worth reliving so I don’t. Selective good memories. There is no doubt that we laughed a lot during those years. When I was selling our dining room table the lady that was considering buying it said to me I can feel laughter in this table. The story of how and when we bought is also funny. Edited version: I was banished from the store while she negotiated the purchase. I was having a very irreverent day. She was giving me hell and I couldn’t stop laughing.

One of my fondest memories was the impromptu Labor Day weekend trip to Santa Barbara. All five of us just driving from the Valley to Ojai to Santa Barbara. We were enjoying the scenery and the day. The “hotel” where we got  a “suite”  was also a source of laughter. But we had a place to stay and it was not the Ritz it was more like to Rotz. It was a weekend of laughter even after we were almost lost at sea. (what does the dime have to do with this – I will tell you later, read on).

After almost being lost at sea my sailing skills were assailed by my family as being poor if no- existent. During our sea odyssey I learned what a jib is. I am still not sure what it is but someone yelled, “pull on the jib.” I asked the four experts on the boat what the f%#&k is a jib? Things went downhill from there. I guess we had no idea how much trouble we were in because we all hysterical with laughter. We finally made it to the dock – alive.

Each of us was recalling the events of the day and the belly laughs did not stop. On this beautiful street we had to navigate back to the Hotel Rotz, my wife, who had a notoriously weak bladder, went . Yes, she went. We still laugh at that moment, I still see her almost bent over from laughing so hard. In fact, we are all still laughing at that fun moment when we recall that day to this day.

Most of my dreams that include her are like this one. I still recall her thinking that the lever to self-clean the oven was for making sure the door doesn’t open. After the fire department left we had a great laugh over this, but not right away. It took a few weeks. We had to get past the fire department’s fans to get rid of the smoke, the smoke on the walls and the very shriveled up steak that was the ultimate victim. We actually got to meet our new neighbors.

So, after reading the reports that my daughter and son wrote about their experience with a psychic I was curious. (See my blog of January 25, 2015 “I AM (WAS)A SKEPTIC”). In that session Susan came through and implored me to get the GERD I was experiencing checked out. I knew it was GERD as I know people at that time also experiencing it. TUMS seemed to work. Some events were not as troubling as others. I went through Vietnam from Hanoi to Saigon and many stops in between popping TUMs or TUMs like discs. Yes, I told my fellow adventurers, I will get this checked out again after I get home. There was a little whisper in my head and the notes that my daughter took at the psychic's session reflecting her mother’s advice to me also tweeked the idea of another endoscopy.

A week or so after I got back I had the endoscopy as I promised in the session, as I promised my fellow adventurers and my family. Two days later I was admitted to the cardiac unit at the hospital and a week later I got by-pass surgery. Susan came through and substantiated the need for attention to my heart, the heart she owned since she was 14 years old.

What about the dime? As I said I often have dreams of Susan and when I do, I feel better as the dreams are of fun filled and light hearted moments of our lives together. We had some not so great moments but who can remember them, who wants to?

My kids tell me that their significant people who come to them in dreams also have some form of physical manifestation to let them know they are there. Flicking lights, door sounds, etc. Last week I had a great series of dreams in one night that when I woke, I had a smile on my face and felt really good.

As I walked down the stairs to have breakfast I looked down and there was a shiny new dime centered on the second from last step. Smack dab in the middle. I could not miss that shiny new dime. I picked it up and put it in my pocket. I didn’t give it much thought but all day I kept feeling for the dime. When I felt it there I got a good feeling and smiled.

Last night I played in my tennis league and after winning my service game we changed sides. As I walked to the other side of the court, I looked down and smack dab in the middle of the service box was a shiny new dime. It wasn’t there when we warmed up. No one spotted it during the game. It was just there as I walked to other side of the net. I picked it up and put it in my pocket and I smiled. Susan was there with me. I smiled as I won my service three other times. It was nice to have a family member come and see me play, finally.

That was my experience – you decide.

ONE PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS ... OR MORE

Most of my blogs are from 900 to 1400 words. This blog will be a little shorter.  One of my fellow travelers to India took a great photo,  upon review actually reflects what is happening in our country. This photo is great metaphor. I asked if I could use it in this blog. Mauge Wevar de Rosenberg said yes, and I thank her for the use and for getting this photo.

April we visited some iconic places in India. The location where Ghandi was assassinated, Rathambore National Park to observe animals in the jungle and hopefully see some tigers, Agra Fort, float along the Ganges Rivers and of course the Taj Mahal. All of these places and others were breathtaking. Say what you want about India, you see and experience things like no other place on earth. The strings that the Hindu priest tied on my wrist are still there. The little container of Gange water is still on my book shelf, the other container I brought back, according to a friend and professional caretaker, helped a dying woman in need of some pain free moments.

One of the shocking things we experienced was the SheRoes Café where we met, talked with, danced with young women who were the victims of acid attacks. SheRoes is an example of surviving and rising above adversity and pain. Needless to say, it was quite an emotional experience.

What we saw on the street upon leaving SheRoes really lightened the mood.

When I saw Mauge Wevar-Rosenberg's photo I bust out laughing.  saw a depiction and representation of what was happening in the U.S. There was a big blond bull trying to defile an innocent cow that happened to be of darker hide. A big blond guy wants to defile the U.S.  Got the picture? Mauge did get it and we all thank her for it.

That is my take – you decide

 Note:  Mauge Wevar de Rosenberg became a U.S. Citizen just after returning from India

I AM HAVING A HARD TIME RECONCILING WHAT I HEAR WITH WHAT I SEE

According to Trump, the economy stinks. It is rigged (for people like him). It is not what the Obama administration promised. Again, according to Trump, the unemployment rate is 10 percent, maybe 20 percent and he even heard up 42%. We know he is nuts but the people are starting to believe this crap. It comes down to an old joke where a wife comes home and finds her husband in bed with another woman, as he steps away from the bed he asks, “Are you going to believe me or are you going to believe your eyes?”

In this case, the economy, I am opting for what I see. Not what I am hearing. Yes, you can make the argument that there are people hurting, there are always people hurting. The reasons are not always of their own making, but many are because they won’t “flip burgers.” There are so many people who are under qualified and won’t take the job that is there – hence migrant workers, braceros on the street looking for manual labor, handymen and women without green cards. They get jobs.

If Trump deports the 11 million “illegals” I am confident that the people who are out of work, will still be looking for a job. That is not the answer.

So, if this economy is so bad why are the 38 million people going on a trip this Memorial Day weekend? Why are the security lines so long at the airport? People without money don’t travel. The planes are full. They don’t go Disney Land or World. They don’t go camping. They don’t spend billions at the movie box office. This is not the top 10% is the “middle class” that is being destroyed in s systematic way by the Right. They, the Right, are trying hard but 20 million more people are enjoying health insurance for the first time in spite of the Right.

Is the economy a state of mind or is it really bad? Make your own analysis.  Next time that you are stopped at a traffic light look at the ten cars around you? (Remember, many of the foreign brands are built on the US by us). How many cars are three years old or younger? I will bet that you will be astonished at what you see. I had a guy tell me yes, but they are all leased and the payments are lower. There are two things wrong with that argument: 1. There are still payments to be made 2. The lessee needs a better credit score to lease than to buy. You get a better score by paying your bills.

Trump and others tell you how bad it is so often you almost have to believe it. Believe nothing of what you hear and half of what you see. Maybe then you won’t let the politicians on the left and right depress you.

Go to a major league ball park and see how many people, not in the 10%, are there. With their kids, buying six dollar water (I have written about this), wearing logo shirts and having fun. They are the working class that the pundits says are angry. Really! Angry? May be pissed at $15 parking, but angry they are not.

I often hear that college kids that are graduating can’t get jobs. True, they can’t get the jobs that pay what they are expecting. I am not saying we don’t have problems within the economy, but we are better prepared to deal with them. We must not let the Right increase interest rates on student loans or prevent them from adjusting them as the economy may dictate. We, the people, are aware of the solutions but look at who are stepping in front of the way to solve the problems. There is the Tea Party, the ultra-right, our right wing congress members who won’t raise the minimum wage but give themselves enormous raises to do nothing and they appear to do nothing quite well. They have created the appearance of a negative economy so they can install their solutions – privatize it.

Take the TSA for example. They, the right (they are in control of Congress) cut the TSA budget. So, we get longer lines and poorer security. What did they suggest? Yep, privatize it.

The US Postal Service is doing well, well enough to drop the rate of a first class stamp. No one is going “postal” these days. That is killing the right that imposed major financial regulations that required the USPS to prefund all pensions. So, even with one hand tied behind their back,  to the Right’s chagrin, there is no need to privatize.

Social Security is not broke, it could be better if the cap was lifted. The Right and some lefties, won’t do that either. The Social Security program is one of insurance not investment. Since its inception, not one Social Security check has ever bounced or been missed.

Will Hillary, Bernie or the Donald fix any of that? For sure, the Donald won’t. Our best bet is with someone from the left. That is for you to decide, but they and us, feel that America is great now, but it could be greater. Listen to the issues not the propaganda.

What makes America great is the fact that I can write this blog, you can read it,  and you can agree or not agree.

I want a leader to lead us, not a conniving business man with a record of distortion, a record of deceit. Not someone with a record of cheering for our misfortunes so he can make a larger fortune. Not a bully that wants to dominate other world leaders. That is a recipe for disaster and Trump, using that word to describe everything but his ideas, will be the largest, and biggest creator of disasters. They will be “huuuuge.”

I just drove down a major thoroughfare here in the San Fernando Valley. There are several large “Now Hiring” signs displayed. Go the mall and see the “Hiring Now” signs in the windows. Need a job, you can get a job. Don’t blame the other guy for your situation. Take charge of yourself and change it. The guy with the different color skin is not causing your problem, you are.

That is my take, you decide

 

THE MIRACLE OF THE GANGES

I just came back from two and one half weeks in the heart of India. As someone pointed out India is an acronym for I WILL NEVER DO IT AGAIN! Wrong, it is a country and culture that one trip just won’t cut it. It is a very large country (with just one time zone) allowing for many religions and varied cultures all in one large place. All are welcome. (Deal with that Trump!)

One of my fellow travelerseloquently journalizied what we learned and experienced over the 17 days we were there. This blog is about just one aspect of the adventure – the waters of the Ganges River.

Here are some “facts” related to the Ganges that were told to me by people who either did not know, never been there, never read anything about the river or wanted to let me know that based on their knowledge, I was crazy to go there. I am so glad that I did not listen to them.

Yes, the Ganges is quite crowded during the day as Indians bathe in the Ganges. Others are washer people doing laundry in the Ganges. No, I did not inquire as to whether that is where my hotel got their laundry done. Others are steeped in prayer, kids are diving in and women are bathing in their saris.

In the spring, the Ganges water level is quite low. When the monsoon season hits the Ganges will rise up to 30 feet above the current level of the water. The Ganges is actually wider than what it appears because of the sandbar that the low water level exposes that makes the opposite shore look closer.

The water Is not a pretty color. However, the water comes from the Himalayas and some say it is clean. I saw the people who bathed in it also drank it. Not for me. BUT, I had to put my feet in the water just to report that I did get some experience in the Ganges.

The night before we visited the Ganges and saw funeral pyres along the Ganges River. I did not see any bodies floating by as I was told I would by some back home. I did see bones that did not incinerate in the funeral fire being thrown into the Ganges. In one crematorium I counted 11 pyres going and more being built. It is  a three hour burn. The families attend the cremations.

Further down (or up) river there were daily religious ceremonies being performed with 30 to 40 thousand people in attendance. About half of the people were in boats as we were. The boats were jammed in together – most full to capacity and many were way over capacity. It was a beautiful ceremony with fire, lights, bells and chanting. It was enchanting.

As we sailed back to our departure point, the sky was dark and the river was dark save for the lights on shore which went out as we were approaching our “docking” point. We navigated by the lights in our smart phone. Imagine Holland America announcing all hand on deck and light your iPhones, we are at the next port of call!

We safely navigated our way off the boat, up the stairs and down the crowded dark streets to our coach.  Everyone made it back safely and when we took a count, we found a cow also joined our group. Not really, but it was possible.

The next day it was back to the Ganges for a ride back to where we experienced the pyres and the religious ceremonies to experience the Ganges in the daylight. I had just spoken with a lady friend back home. She is a Registered Nurse and asked about the Ganges experience. When I told here we would be back to Ganges she instructed me to obtain Ganges water to bring home. I said,”OK!” When I mentioned this to our trip leader he said some people think that Ganges water can cure you of ailments. Hmmm. How would Gina know that? He also told me that they sell containers to take Ganges water back. (Not in my carry on bag!)

As you float in your man powered boat other boats , like floating souvenir shops come by and they sell everything including little brass containers which they will fill with about an ounce of Ganges water for you. Problem solved. I will carry it on.

If the water will cure ailments I figured I will dip my legs in it. My knee has been hurting, so why not? The water did feel good, but my knee still hurt. Along the shore area there were Hindi priests painting faces, chanting prayers, tying strings on your wrist.  Once again, why not? I did all that and my knee still hurt! But, I had my Ganges water to take home.

A few days later and a 13500 mile flight, I was home. I actually forgeot about the two little Ganges brass bottles until I got to the bottom of my tchochke bag. When Gina came by I gave her the bracelet, the necklace and the blouse I got for her and one of the brass containers. With the Ganges water.

After dinner last night she said, “I have something to tell you.” Hmmm. She is too old to have a baby,  or she might have won the lottery, I was curious. When she said it had something to do with the Ganges water I was nervous as I told her it could give you severe Delhi Belly. No, she said. If you recall, she is a registered nurse who works in an assisted living facility. It is an expensive facility, apartments can run up to $7000 per month or more.

Gina’s friend, also a nurse with a patient in the same facility . She asked Gina to rub some of the Ganges water, our Ganges water, on her patient with Pancreatic cancer. What could it hurt? Gina took her finger and dipped into the brass container, rubbed the liquid on her hand and then rubbed her hands on the lady with the cancer.

Later that day, her friend said the lady wants to talk to you. The cancer patient reported that she did not need any pain medication for more than six hours. She felt good for the first time in a long time. Gina, a devout Catholic, saw it as matter of faith and a miracle for the lady who has limited time on earth as her cancer has spread. But the six hours were wonderful for the patient. Gina felt so uplifted as I did because I was able to bring the water home with me and have it do some good. 

India, I know I will Do It Again.


July 15, 2016 - the lady succumbed to her cancer.

 

That is my experience, you decide.

 

THE BASEBALL GODS MUST BE CRAZY

Another season. I wrote about why I get excited when the next baseball season is on the horizon.  That was five years ago – my how time flies. And in those five years tickets have become more complicated than my 1040 tax return. I just counted more than 50 levels of pricing for a single ticket at a Dodger game. That doesn’t include the ticket pricing for parking.  The two hours and 56 minutes is a very expensive proposition.

If I want Dugout Club Seats for myself and two grandchildren I need to spend my social security check  – really, and that does not include parking or a hot dog. There is nothing like being there. Be there or be square – remember that phrase? Now it is “be there and be poor, very poor.”

Of the 50 or so levels of pricing, the lowest cost seats are in the top deck areas and they do not include tissues for the nose blood. What have the Dodgers and what has baseball done to people like me who are life long fans. We enjoyed a day at the ball yard. We loved the night games, we loved the people we sat next to. Now I can’t afford to go to a game and I am not poor, yet.

Next time I hear about a $15 million dollar contract I will realize that I am and many of those like me, are subsidizing this payoff. No, it is not the billion dollar TV deal, though that has not reduced any ticket prices, it is the salaries of these fragile performers that  have a strained oblique, calf that hurts, or a tooth ache and they make hundreds if not thousands sitting in the dugout.

It is a shame. I recall taking my grandkids to games. We sat in the bleachers for six bucks. Got to talk to the pitchers warming up. Shmoozed with the other fans with their kids. What a wonderful experience. We were not Hispanics, not caucasians, not African Americans, we are FANS. It is hard to cheer for a ball club that is made up of greed.

Kershaw, a great pitcher but is he worth my not being able to go to a game with my grandsons? No way.

Yasiel Puig, a sometimes great outfielder, but not worth the price to pay to see him sit on the bench most of the time. Is the value of my ticket diminished because he didn’t play – yes it is.  Kershaw plays once every five days.

It appears that America’s past time is past its time and being priced out of existence. If I cannot afford to go to a game, the game does not exist for me. It is hard because I love the sport. I grew up first in Braves Field where we went to the game for a dime including carfare. Yes, I know that was the olden days as I have been told by my middle aged kids. The point is even then I could afford to go to a game. A few years ago the Dodgers had half price Wednesdays. I took my grand kids and they ate well at the game and I was able to eat the rest of the week as I was not broke.

I am surprised that the Dodgers did not sign Greinke. We would have all paid for it. We are paying for all the multimillion dollar contracts for the run of the mill players, whether we like it or not every time we buy a ticket.

Back in 1966 Koufax and Drysdale got  $167,000 for the year after a tough negotiation. Today a rookie gets more than three times that his first year. What does the average family man that attends a game make?  I would venture a guess and say somewhat less.

This is Vin Scully’s last season. He will be missed. But here is the good news, I can watch the game and listen to Vinny without buying a ticket. I do lose the excitement of being there.  But I have enough money to go to an Angel game (I had better check their prices).  I did – they are not much better. They televise Angels games, too.

Here is the tragedy of all this: When I was a young boy my dad would take me to a Red Sox Game. I loved going and spending the time with my dad who was an avid fan. My father was a working man, blue collar, but he was able to take me to a few games each year. Now, I want to share the events with my grandkids but it is price prohibitive. And the teams don’t give a damn. Both the kids and me are losing out to greed. It is hard to enjoy the game when these players are not performing up to their incomes. Right now there is an equivalent of a major league team unable to perform because of minor tweeks, hurts and boo boos and this is just the Dodgers. And they want us to pay big bucks not see these guys.

If I am invited I will go to a game or two. But I hope the Dodgers understand that my loyalty goes to event not the team. Fresh air, friendly fans and hots dogs are the attractions. Not just the Dodgers, but this is where I live – so it is the Dodgers.

My son just wrote a blog about how the Dodgers got more for their money by not signing Grienke. It is  our money they spend when they buy contracts.  So, who cares? They may be financial wizards but they could care less about the fan base.

Dodger Blue is now Dodger Green – more than ever.

That is my take – you decide.

REMEMBRANCE

I have been writing about some things that stir emotions in me. My last blog was about tradition. I have written about why I like religion and G-d not so much. I have written about things in my past that stir memories and then the emotion kicks in. I was reading an article about reciting the Kaddish after a death.

The Kaddish, for the unannointed, is said after a member of your family passes away. It is usually, a mother, father, brother, sister or a child. That is the tradition. I have been watching that tradition fade as many synagogues do not have minions in which the Kaddish is recited. The minion is traditionally a meeting of ten men who gather in a place where there is a Torah scroll or any place that will hold ten men of like religion. (The Torah scroll is the tenth man if needed).

I watched my dad when his mother died. I was about ten years old and what he did has stuck with me for more than 60 years. I was very impressed by the fact that my dad went to the shul for a morning minion and he stopped at the shul for an evening minion on his way home. I often went with him.  Even though as I grew up I was told, “you shouldn’t know of such things.”

When he passed away I was recalling his devotion to that minchag so I went about looking for minions that I could attend to honor his memory. I lived in the Conejo Valley at that time. I belonged to a Reform Congregation, so there were no minions at my shul. There was a weekly minion at the Conservative Congregation, so that is where I went – weekly. The rabbi recognized this dilemma for me and tried to make the minion as meaningful as possible – 10 people or not. He often asked me to lead the service. I felt I was honoring my father’s memory in a way he would appreciate and I felt good about it.

It was emotional. The service, whether at a Shiva house or at a shul, is emotional. This is a time when your neighbors and friends and family provide their support. It is a time of immense grief and also the time when the healing starts and a time for remembering. The Kaddish is never said alone as there are built in responses that come from the community and as you hear the “Omains” and the “Borachus” you know that you are sharing this moment.

This service and the prayer should not be diluted. In order to make the mourners feel they are a part of the community, some rabbis ask all the members of the congregation to stand and recite Kaddish. That is a major dilution of the moment, a dilution of the prayer, of the remembrance. Your fellow congregants do not know who is in mourning and who is not. That is not support that is recitation that makes the rabbi feel good, not the mourners.

To take this further, I was standing by a young woman who was reciting the Kaddish. I asked her who she was remembering. Was it a family member? Was it a close friend? She was remembering the six million that died in the Holocaust. Did she know any of the people that died in the Holocaust – no.

Saying the Kaddish, in my view, is an obligation for the blood relatives of the immediate family to remember their loved ones. It is an obligation that is to be avoided as long as you can. When you are obligated to say Kaddish it is when you have experienced some sever amount of grief. The young woman grieved for no one.

In keeping with remembrance there are three times each year, in addition to the deceased yahrtzeit (anniversary of death) that you remember. It is the Yizkor service. Until I had someone to remember I was not allowed to be in that service. I waited outside. My late wife lost her father and I waited in the foyer till Yizkor was over so I could give her a hug. Parents are bringing children to Yizkor services. They have no sense of piety.  The whole event is somewhat diluted and losing the meaning.

There are many prayers you can recite during the year for departed loved ones. But the Kaddish has most meaning. Even in a Rocky movie the Kaddish was recited for Rocky’s manager. It was a moving moment  because the words that start the prayer are recognized everywhere as sadness and the defining moment for emotions. Yiskadal yiskadosh . . . I remember. (Today my dad would have been 106 years old).

 

That is my take you decide

POOR TEVYA

If he knew how right he was one hundred and fifty years ago he would have sang the song “Tradition” even louder. He was so right, tradition is like the fiddler on the roof, very precarious. It saddens me that traditions are not valued as they once were. The retort that “times are a changing” is not enough to justify the things we hold dear and look forward to.

In my family I tried to create a minchag. That is a family tradition. I provide the Talit for all my grandchildren for their Bat or Bar Mitzvah. The talit have to come from Israel. There was one shop that I got the first six  and now I need two more so I will have to obtain them long distance from my friend at Ora Gifts in Jerusalem. I will maintain that minchag. And a friend.

Another minchag that I tried to create was “Grandpa’s Bag of  Gold” for Chanukah. With their gelt the kids get to read some  poetry that I attempt to write about the family and the holiday.  I hope that these minchag (don’t know the plural) will live on in my family’s memory long after I am gone.  And as I Iook back I remember my father, my uncles, my aunts and my mother creating a minchag of preparing the Pesach meal at my Grandmother’s house. (Actually, it was my aunt’s house, but when they were cooking, no doubt was my Grandmother’s house).

Traditions add richness and color to the time. Handing down the Torah scroll at the Bar/Bat Mitzvah service is one of my favorite minchags (plural). It says so much about family and the traditions that come with that symbolic deed.

Traditions are repeated from generation to generation (L’dor V’dor) in spite of the fact some are difficult and time consuming, but they are worth it. It is maintaining the chain and richness of the event or time.

I recall my late wife spending hours creating rhymes for the people to be honored as they light the candles on the Bar/Bat Mitzvah cake. The light of the candles is symbolic of creating a future of bright expectations and wishes from family and friends. Connecting the generations with the light of a candle. I complained that some of the candle lighters at my kid’s parties I did not know well, I was informed they knew us and they respected our family. I am sure the kids did not know some of their candle lighters but I can’t imagine not having some distant relative who was very influential to either me or my wife in our way of life not being honored. To a thirteen year old that may not be important, and it is the B’nai Mitzvot’s night. But it is also the night for family and friends to celebrate. I was told that was too much trouble. The hire someone to write your rhymes. Don’t write rhymes just make statements as to why these people are important enough to be honored. This is a minchag that needs to be maintained.  


At my Bar Mitzvah,  my friend  was empowered to squeeze the light of the candle out because we had too many people to light the candles. The blisters on her two fingers from the flame have long since healed. That was 61 years ago but she talks about that “honor” today. What a delightful memory!

Times have changed, no more bands (I just went to a Bat Mitzvah with an 11 piece orchestra with four dancers – a little much for a Bat Mitzvah) just disc jockeys that know how to keep a party moving. Love the music and the energy. This also a turning point as some thirteen year old boys ask thirteen year old girls to dance – for the first time in their lives.

Traditions have crossed pollinated. The raising the Bar/Bat Mitzvah on chairs is actually a wedding ritual stemming from Orthodox Jewish weddings. Minchags  can be borrowed.

Minchags create memories. Memories that make you smile. Memories that warm the moment. So, why are we so quick to extinguish a minchag? Because not everyone at the event will understand and / or appreciate the beauty of it? So, what!

Theme parties are the thing. It was just a week ago that I was reminiscing with someone about my son’s Bar Mitzvah. She was hired to create a theme emblematic of his interests and also his friend’s interests. A good time was had by all, the kids and the adults.

Tradition is important  to me. It was important to my late wife, my parents and in general, to my peers.

Some traditions are embedded in the liturgy. Blessing over the wine. Blessing over the bread.  As we end an era, our Bat/Bar Mitzvah is now deemed an adult, we start another by saying amen and L’Chiam!

The Bar Mitzvah Boys at Normie’s Bar Mitzvah circa 1954: LtoR:  Solly Freedman, Eddie Lupo, Davey Freedman, Alan (the Bovitz) Myers, Howie Gelbsman, Ally Cohen

That is my take – you decide

TRUMP - THE ADVOCATE FOR HATE

I expect that we will all be numb by November. The rhetoric never stops, the lies get bigger and the threats get more intense even when there are no threats.

Every time I turn on CNN there is Trump trumpeting the same old crap we have been hearing from the first day. This speech from New Hampshire, the same speech from Iowa, the repeat from Washington – same crap different day and often the same day but from different locales and the crap is always on. And on , and on.

Trump hasn’t said anything new in months. No substance just bullet points that stir the masses, the masses that like to hate. What is even worse, the anchors repeat the crap. They repeat it in such a way that they tell you it is BREAKING NEWS, when all it is, is breaking wind. Journalism is nowhere to be found. Fact checking does not exist and that is the news they report. They are word stooges instead of wordsmiths.

Trump was ready to pounce on the report of the ten sailors that were detained for several hours after penetrating Iranian waters. Then they were released without harm and with their property intact. That was terrible according to the CNN anchors. Did you see the videos of our servicemen and women when they were arrested?  How dare the Iranians have them put their hand behind their heads and kneel while being arrested? THAT IS WHAT WE DO AND THAT IS WHAT YOU DO WHEN YOU ARREST SOMEBODY!

OK, I didn’t like it. But not a shot was fired and according to Berman, the CNN anchor, this was “provocative.” How? Hey, you never left the studio, so how do you know? No wonder Michaela blew him off. There is no credibility there, or on CNN for that matter.

Donna Bash can’t put three words together without fumpferring. Borger is the essence of mean and Wolf is almost senile and “I will leave it there,” as he says too often instead of following up. I will leave it there, too.

According to Trump the military is crumbling. We have 2.2 million people with either active duty or ready reserves. Wow, how the cookie crumbles. We are second only in numbers to China.  China has how many more people than the US but has only 600,000 more troops than we do? Their population is in the billions and yet the world says that the U.S. has the best fighting force in history.

Trump just released a nasty commercial full of misconceptions, lies and distortions. That is par for Trump but the problem is that some people will believe the lies and will act on them.  Just like 1939 in Germany . Trump wants to deport people he suspects, as did the Nazis. He wants Muslims to wear symbols on their clothes. I believe we have some leftover yellow stars we can sell the idiot. He wants to establish camps. Trumpinow is underway. No golf course.

He speaks without authority or actual knowledge. He was on the border with Mexico and he saw millions pouring in. He was there for an hour and he used the men’s room. He saw thousands cheering in New Jersey after the twin towers came down. Trump doesn’t even know where New Jersey is.  He is ubiquitous, he is everywhere when something sinister can be witnessed. If you don’t believe that – ask him.

Here is my problem (actually a host of them) the networks, CNN, Fox, MSNBC all trumpet his messages. They’re the same, nothing changes and when I turn to these channels  I hear the same unchallenged crap over and over again. They are characterized as “Breaking  News.”  As I said earlier, more like braking wind. They really do have an odor. Not silent, but just as deadly.

Then you got the little boys in the room. Rubio and Cruz. If a lack of intelligence was the criteria they both have a chance but none of their arguments are as stupid as the Trumpian rhetoric. Trump is not stupid, he is reckless and dangerous and a liar, a good liar. That would be the limit what I can say that is good about Trump.

If you want to now the fallout from this crap go see the movie “Trumbo.” See what they did to make America great again in the 50’s. They wanted to stifle creativity. They  didn’t! The blacklisted writers found ways to write and so some great work. They made the senators and their staffs look foolish. The blacklisted writers gave the American people great entertainment.  Have we learned our lesson yet?

That is my take – you decide

 

GOT TO SAY SOMETHING ABOUT DATING SITES

I have been officially single now for more than three years. In that time I have frequented so many happy hours that I have been saddened by the experiences I have had. So, no more Happy Hours. I now have lost some weight as a result. No more Happy Hour menus for me. No sliders and no more mixed drinks.  I must say that I am giving up the best show in town watching others get the same experiences I have had. There is very slick and not so slick.  There is shy guy who won’t look up and then there is the bon vivant who lets you know immediately who he is by dropping his car keys on the bar with a glang. (Look he is driving a Yugo, (”It is a classic, man”).

I will not disparage the ladies because that comes soon enough. You see, the bar scene sucks. It sucks big time. Then there are the Meet-Ups. Some are OK, but many have their cliques and newcomers are somewhat kept at arm’s length.  The guys come in and hug and kiss the women they know from previous weeks and still have not connected but they act as if they are. Posturing is everything and many have it down pat.

Once you have decided that these scenes are not for you, although a friendly drink in a familiar place is OK and good for you once in a while, you gotta break the habit or it will break you. So, what do you do?

YOU GO ONLINE. There are so many single sites you might think that the entire world population is single or is pretending to be single. There are sites where you can be married – Ashley Madison, for example. That did not work out for many who got exposed. There are dating sites that require you to be of a certain faith. Sites such as Christian Singles. There are sites that require or suggest that cow manure can be an aphrodisiac. You have seen the Farmers Only web site?

Then there are the Asian sites, Philippino sites the Russian sites, Hispanic sites, the Jewish sites, the almost Jewish sites and the what do you want to do this weekend sites. It is almost like, as a former wife said, shooting fish in a barrel.

Speaking of fish, there is a site called Plenty of Fish. And there are plenty of fish. You put in your search criteria and then you see who is in the “barrel.” It is a Fulton Fish Market of women.  I was excited when I first logged on. There are some beautiful women on there. They all want to have that walk on the beach, a quiet dinner, a glass of wine, etc. But there are so many problems with the  content, the women, I can’t understand why.

For example: Why not tell you exact age? You will have to at some point. Once it is determined that you lied about your age you are seen as a liar. Not a good start for a relationship. Yes, you may be more attractive to him if you were five years younger. You are now sitting across a table and having a great conversation. That conversation is creating a mutual interest and trust until the lie is exposed.  What else is she lying about? By the way, this not just women. But I am looking at this from my perspective so I am talking about women.

She says she has an athletic body. That is good news but sumo wrestling is an athletic endeavor. The descriptions have to be better defined. Like how tall they are. Tall women make themselves shorter and shorter women and men make themselves taller. OK, I get that. Now one shows up with a tape measure. It least for not measuring height.

Then there is the “profile.” It is a one page or so marketing tool to attract a response. Here is where the fun is. Then there is the photos.  In looking at the photos, (I suggest having professional photos taken). Selfies taken in the bathroom are not cool. Selfies are not cool. Some women post 15 to 20 photos because they want you to see their dogs, their cats, the kids, their grandchildren, their motorcycle and on and on.

1. I am not going to date your dog or your cat no matter how cute they are.
2. I am not interested in your kids or grandchildren no matter how cute they are and mine are always cuter.
3. If you cavalier enough to ride a motorcycle, well, that may get my attention.
4. Make sure your photos are from this century. Anything older than 15 years is last century.
5. You went to a Halloween Party but how do we know that is a costume?
6. You travel but you can’t resist posting photos of the beach, the town. I have been to more places than you. I don’t need to see your pictures. If I am looking at them, I am not looking at you.

OK, that is my “How To” blog for now. I will be logging on to see if you were listening.

Just one more thing, if a guy writes to you, reply. It is just polite. You can say “no thanks.” But a reply is the considerate thing to do. I was told that if a lady does not reply in 48 hours, move on, there are plenty of fish.

That is my take – you decide.

 

THAR HE BLOWS

I have had enough of the blowhard Trump. He has no grasp on reality. He sees himself as the savior, the best of everything rolled up behind one big mouth that when he talks he sounds like what comes out a behind. He speaks in bullet points without any thing to back up what he says.

“They are gonna love me.” Who? Has any world leader come forth to say they like Trump? None yet. None ever! Any member of Congress said they love Trump? None yet! Putin says “Nyet.” The president of Mexico is setting aside millions to pay for Trump’s wall – NOT!

What the Donald doesn’t understand is that the United States in not a business. It is a country. Ask Mousolini – oh, he was thrown out. I want a diplomat to run this country. The diplomat that gets to run the U.S. can surround themselves with the best and the brightest business people. You cannot lose sight that this is a country not a corporation. I refer to 2008. Look what the “business geniuses” did. Granted we did not see or we failed to grasp the impact that NAFTA and other trade agreements would have, but the business geniuses did and pushed hard for them.

They shout that China took our jobs, Mexico took our jobs, India took our jobs. No one took anything, they were sent over by the business geniuses that say we have to bring back our jobs. All talk – no action except to keep exporting the jobs.

Trump says he has millions of dollar overseas that he would like to bring back to the U.S.  A few years ago the U.S. created an amnesty so that overseas money could come back and the money would be used for investment and jobs. BUT, the rich got richer as the money was used, not for jobs, not for investment but for dividends. So, ask the Donald how he would channel all that money. Probably back to the three stooges – oh, those are his kids.

He says that he will have the biggest and strongest military in the world. Don’t tell him that it already exists. Our defense spending is more than the next nine super powers combined. Yes, there is waste – and a lot of it. Reign that in. Every time we cut the defense budget or reduce the number of bodies in uniform the our leaders are branded as weakening our security. How many nuclear powered subs do we need? Or aircraft carriers? Or fighters, even ones we don’t need (F22) or want?

The Donald, to use his description, is a disaster waiting to happen. He will get rid of the ACA and replace it with what? No, not a single payer system, but the “best the world has ever seen.” according to him.

Thank you Mr. President for not killing any more of our kids in battles we don’t need to be in. He says we don’t have good leadership. I might agree with that but who is he speaking about. The President, the cabinet, the members of Congress, the Supreme Court, our Joint Chiefs of Staff our military commanders, who?

After hearing his announcement speech I envisioned  the Mexican government at the airports in Mexico asking all drug dealers to step forward and gave them first class tickets to the U.S. Rapists and murders next in line to be sent here with special visas requiring them to only perform the tasks that they were set here for – rape and murder. The Donald is a schmuck.

The best and brightest immigrants are already here. But he wants to round them up and send them back just like they did in Europe in the 30s and 40s. He says he visited the border and saw drugs pouring in. There is an entry lane, ask him, he saw it,  just for drug smugglers. Wow, I have been to the border and never seen that. That doesn’t mean that drugs do not cross the border, it means that he has no idea of what he is talking about. That is also true of all of his positions.

He wants to tear up the Iran agreement. The U.S., China, Russia, Germany and France negotiated this. Ask him. He is a better negotiator than all of them. (The Donald is a schmuck). He wants to have a war because if you don’t there is no market for bombs, bullets, grenades and other tools for killing. No war would be a disaster – for his friends.

I have Muslims, Mexican and other ethnicities working for me. Sounds like the statement, “Me prejudiced, some of my best friends are ________!” Fill in the blank.

The Donald has the best brightest people ready and willing to work for him when he becomes the president. Name one. When I was a child and didn’t eat my dinner my other said that there are kids in Europe that are starving, and one day I asked, “name one.”

The Declaration Of independence claims that we are nation of the people for the people and by the people. We are not a nation for profit, dividends and to enrich the few from the sweat of the many. I want a statesman as a president.

To be a great leader you have to have some humility. Look at Lincoln, look at Kennedy, Eisenhower, Clinton and others that when they made a mistake they owned up to it. The Donald, though he does not have a big papal hat, (big head, maybe) is infallible. Pope Donald. Just ask him.

I repeat, the Donald is a schmuck! But he is just one of them in a narrowing field as they drop off the Bozo Bus.

That is my take – you decide.