I NEED A BREAK!

Between Putin and his antics, McCain’s lobbying for a war and Rand Paul is trying to attack everyone, the intense search for MH670 is getting stupid, at least in the news media and listening to the talking heads that know less than I do about the situation -  I need a break. I turned to Facebook!

I often monitor my Facebook page to see what is going on in the immediate world of people I know, people who think they know me, and people I am not so sure about and just plain people who need to share too much data about themselves, I ran across a posting that caught my eye and got my attention. I was recently telling someone that I just met about how I try to behave in this new “dating world” I find myself in. My dad told me many years ago, whatever you do, “always be a gentleman.”

I am sure that there were times that the thought did not come through but when I am aware of my  situation I try to follow his sage advice.

There was a posting that there are 45 words of wisdom that should have been handed down. While I may not have heard them directly from my father, I may have gotten some of these from my mother. I won’t restate all 45 of these words of wisdom, but some need to be revisited and shared.

“Go for women you perceive to be out of your league, you will surprise yourself.” I totally agree. But I did get a form of that advise form Sammy Amalfi when I was 12 years old when I worked in the produce section of a local supermarket. He said, “Kid, never hang around people who are dumber than you, you will never learn anything.” Sammy was so right. I have applied that principle in my life with men and women. I have never feared smart women, I tried to engage them.

“Every hat should serve a purpose.”  My hats serve several purposes though I hate wearing hats. Bed head! Grab the hat on the way to gym – no combing required. Helmet - in combat or on a motorcycle. Support your team –Red Sox, The Boom, Crescenta Valley High, etc. I have a large collection – about 25 caps, but no “hats.” My dad wore a fedora and every year or two he bought a new one. The care he took of his hats was amazing. It was in the closet in a large hat box. That was the 50s when men wore hats and his purpose was to look good when looking good was required. I used to love to go the shop where they cleaned and blocked his hats.

Taking a woman to the movies on a first date can create conversation at dinner afterwards but if it was an NC-17 rated film, you many never see her again. That is a no-no!

 Looking badass in a well tailored suit is another axiom that should be followed. My grandfather, whom I never met, was always dressed well, I am told. I have a photo of him in very well tailored suit. He was a tailor in the US after serving in the Russian Army as a captain. I would love to have seen photos if him in his uniform. Nothing is sharper than a military uniform that is tailored well. My grandfather and my dad looked good in their suits.


Looking a person in the eye when you talk to them is a must unless they are sitting beside you. That is the only time that you don’t – but never talk and not try to look them in the eye – that is rude and cowardly.

“Buy a plunger before you need a plunger.” Nuff sed!

Learn to tie a tie. Clip-ons are not sexy. There are some basic knots you have to learn. My first was a full Windsor. They were great with Mr. Bs collars (from the 1950s – remember?) but with pointed collars, a half Windsor or four in hand is better and neater.  Bill Clinton once sported a full Windsor that could hide a family of four! Check the guys on TV. Many of them don’t know how to tie a proper knot, they don’t care or are just lazy. Brian William of NBC does know how to tie a proper knot as does our president. Local anchors look like local yokels with their ties. Even Bill Maher needs some education that area.

Handshakes must be firm. Always.  And always stand to give someone a handshake.

Ask questions, people like to talk about themselves. I knew someone that did not like to be asked questions and then complained that no one asked any questions. That person did not ask questions either and gave the impression that she didn’t care. You learn by asking and the when asked the learn.

Being a man means you can take care of yourself, but you can, when needed, take care of others. My dad rose to the occasion when he thought that I need some care. I was in my 50s and taking care of him and when I needed him most, he was there, he took care of me – my dad was a “man.”

You can’t see what is front of you when you walk looking at your shoes. Look ahead, that is what is coming next.

There is no work that is demeaning, all work deserves respect – just ask those that have no job. Everyone deserves your respect. Give and ye shall receive – simple.

Going back to Sammy Amalfi’s advise, if you find yourself as the smartest person in the room, you are in the wrong room.  Create opportunities to learn from others. Expand your interests. Spending time with like-minded people is great but nothing new comes from it.

I did not comment on all 45 of life’s rules as should be told by our fathers and mothers. There even more than 45 but these, that were listed, hit home. Most of us live by them whether we have the list in front of us or not. We were brought up that way and our behavior in life is governed by those principles.  There are those that do not realize them or honor those ideals.  I am talking about US, our culture, our country, our way of life.

The last principle is the best advise you can get, man or woman: Whatever you do in life be the best at it.

That is my take – you decide.


Please note: The photo above is of my grandfather.

MAKING UP YOUR OWN MIND

Whether it is a political candidate or the Affordable Health Care Act or a movie or play – I make up my own mind. You can’t really do that intelligently unless you research the subject in some depth. No, you don’t have to be an expert, but you should check the experts for their opinion and find out where that opinion comes from and why.

So many people who opine on matters don’t have the expertise or knowledge to actually opine with authority. Just replay the Super Bowl interview that O’Reilly had with the president. The president had facts and O'Reilly had opinions not necessarily based in fact and he got taken to the woodshed.

Look at the recent CBO report regarding “Job Lock.” Rand Paul who is knowledgeable said in a an interview that job lock was creating some bad productivity because the employee could not afford to lose benefits if that employee changed jobs. Paul thought that was terrible – that was a few years ago. Now that the AHCA allows employees to leave their jobs and either retire or seek new employment and take their insurance with them, Paul is saying that this law is a jobs killer – when it isn’t. In fact if job lock is now a thing of the past it will open opportunities for new employees and increase jobs. The CBO report said nothing about job loss, which is not “job leaving.” Read the report and make up your own mind.

The 24 hour news cycle and the need for headlines and “breaking news” distorts the actual events and the facts. That is why I like newspapers. You often get both sides of an issue with specific details and you are not restricted to a 30 second look at the story. Take all the time you want to learn the facts. The make up your own mind. Ah, but Fox loved it as they distorted the truth with glee.

I have been watching a National Geographic TV series on the “Monuments Men.” That was fascinating to watch. These well-educated experts in the arts and related field went into a combat zone, over age, out of shape and saved the culture of Europe by finding and protecting the arts that are appreciated worldwide. They went to basic training, even for a young man that is tough, carried weapons and at times, and had to use them in their pursuit. They are heroes.  Two of the men lost their lives in this effort – 33% casualties.

So, what did I read in the Los Angeles Times? It was an “Ocean’s Eleven” remake set in World War II. The critic did not like to flow of the film, he criticized the director, he criticized the script and ended saying that it was a good story, but . . . !

The next night the film premiered and I went to see it. I saw another film that evidently this critic did not see. I saw a great story with good direction with great acting and some wonderful facts that created a good outcome. It entertained me; it educated me and made me feel good after the film ended. I guess a critic needs to be negative in order to earn his pay.

In New York a critic can destroy a work of art with just a few words and often does. People will not go see a critically panned play because some blow hard says it is not what he thinks it should be. Or what the actor should be doing on stage is not what the critic thinks that actor should be doing. 

For the past several years I have seen so many films and plays that critics have attended and apparently not seen, or I believe they saw something different from what I saw or experienced.

“Gravity” was a marvelous film about a woman that needed to find her courage and use her expertise to save herself under some very trying circumstances. It was an amazing movie (I saw in 3D and I am not a 3D lover) that had suspense, drama, emotion against an amazing backdrop of space. The critics said that the story was lacking, one of the two characters was not deep enough, etc., etc. I walked out of that theater feeling great because I loved the story, the characters, the effects, because it entertained and educated me and the film had a great outcome. Critics be damned!

The “Sound of Music” on TV was wonderful except for the commercial messages. Even TiVo disrupted the flow, but the music and the story were quite uplifting. There was a Country and Western singer in the lead which lead s me to believe that talent always wins out. The critics did not see the same show that I saw. I was entertained, educated and uplifted.

“August: Osage County” was a depressing film. It seemed like it would take all of August to get through the film. It was a slow, agonizing, miserable story line with great performances by the cast. There are award winning portrayals in this movie and I am sure some will get an award for their part. I do not think that this was a good movie. I was not particularly entertained; I was not educated about life in Osage County, just about this family that was really screwed up.  I walked out of the theater and my first words to a stranger were I need a drink!” But the critics loved it!

In this day and age many of us defer to the “experts” to provide for our thinking. It is easier than thinking for ourselves. One friend derided me by asking don’t you want to know the facts? Yes, I do but not Fox Facts. Not MSNBC facts. I want the facts from the impartial reporting (not sure there is any these days) but I am smart enough to figure it out for myself – at least I hope that I am. I hope that you are, too!

That is my take – you decide (for yourself)

IT WAS NOT FUNNY

No one was laughing, especially when they got caught. Governor Christie is not my guy nor my governor  but I always thought highly of him, not so much of his ideas. I was impressed with the way he handled “Bridge Gate.”

He took immediate action and canned the people responsible. He did it without a long and deliberative process, they screwed up, they screwed him now they get screwed along with the people of two states that got screwed for four days.

When it comes to pay back politics I am at a loss as to understanding the high that they got. Had any of these people that created the mess had to be in the Big City how would they have reacted? It was not funny. What was tragic is that the jams held up emergency vehicles. Had there been a family member heading to hospital in an ambulance with lights and sirens with no ability to move, that would have been hilarious, not. The chain reaction of what they did was really very tragic – who knows what lives were damaged by a doctor being delayed for a procedure and the patient that need it.

Payback is expensive. Ask George W. Bush whose defense of killing about 5000 young Americans was payback to Sadam for trying to kill George  H.W. Bush. “Sadam tried to kill my daddy, “ he said. So, the mother s of about 5000 dead soldiers and about 20,000 or so wounded soldiers paid dearly for that payback.

Recall the dinner where George jokingly was looking under the table for the WMDs. That was NOT FUNNY. We know how that played out. The bridge disaster will be quantified as time goes on and as stories emerge from the people riding in the buses and their personal vehicles start recount the effect of those days while on the asphalt. Jokes, like these have consequences.

It is my hope that Governor Christie does not suffer from the effects of these ill- advised actions on the part of some of his staff. I am hopeful that this does not land at his door. I want to see him get the Republican nomination. He is not a Tea Party idiot. That means though I might not agree with him, he has cogent ideas. Ryan, Paul and Cruz are the village idiots that live in the village of the Congress. These are three jokes that are definitely not funny.

These idiots that created the traffic jam may have also created an atmosphere where Christie may not be able to run. He has to overcome the association – he did hire or appoint them.

Let this be a lesson for all civil servants; you serve the civilian population. Not an elected official though you may serve at that official’s pleasure in order to serve the people.

We in Los Angeles have had Carmegedon, twice. There were no problems as we knew that they were coming. The Port Authority did not warn any one of the lane closings for the “traffic study” that wasn’t. It was deliberate, it was deceitful, it was mean spirited and meant to hurt the people they serve. Then when one of the cowards was asked about it he took the 5^th. That gave the people of New Jersey a great sense of comfort. Oh! They were just drunk. Until they learned that the 5^th was not scotch but the 5^th amendment of the US Constitution they are to defend. Now the people need a fifth to deal with this.

The Super Bowl is coming to New Jersey. Who knows what these brain dead civil servants had planned?  Let’s see the Mayor of New York is a Democrat as is the governor. Payback time – really? 

I have a question: Since the New Jersey as well as the New York populations get their news and traffic reports from the same  media outlets, how did the Governor not know about the major snarls that were created in his state and reported on by local TV outlets? Hmmm!

 

That is my take, you decide.